tracey kazimir-cree's sunshine factory

Hi everybody — Week 2 is complete!

I did some wrecking, although not as much as I would have liked. It’s been a very busy week, so I ended up forgetting the book a lot. Now I am trying to take it with me wherever I go. I think it caught a few curious looks as it sat on the conference table at my SBDC class this morning. Today at lunch, Venita recommended a book to me and I scribbled the title on the first page so as not to forget it.

I’m kinda beat from all of the learning and working I’ve been doing this week, so I’m not going to write too much more about wrecking my journal. On a whim, I vlogged instead. Whipped open Photo Booth without giving it a second thought and created the video you see here.

This is HUGE for me because I don’t want people to see me. (Let’s not even go there, ok?) There is also a video of Doug the Dog helping me wreck my journal, recorded with the video thingie on my Palm Centro. enjoy!

As I type this, I am sitting on my journal. I received this book for Christmas and have done a few of the prompts in it since then, but when I heard Jamie Ridler was leading a Wreck This Journal group, I knew it was a sign that I needed to get more invested in this book. So I am. Only problem is, I keep forgetting to do stuff. ha!

Be Brave

Last weekend, I did do some doodling in one of the pages. Easy enough. Stuff I do every day in other books. Not a big deal. I made a sign for myself.

But last night I tried to do something more daring. There is a black page that says “Lose this page. (Throw it out.) Accept the loss.” I ignored it for a while and looked for another page to work on. Then I went back and tore out the page and crumpled it up. Then I sat the wadded up ball of paper aside and freaked out a little. And I know exactly why.

I love recording things. I love complete archives and histories of events. I want to leave behind stuff that doesn’t make people wonder about Tracey. “Why did grandma tear a page out of this book?” one kid might wonder.

Lose this page

And here’s the other thing. We had barely any money growing up. I learned the value of a dollar very early on. I also learned that if I leave my stuff lying around, my little brothers would destroy it and then it would be gone and there would be no more because there was no money to buy more. So I’m very protective of my stuff.

And that’s why throwing away this page is so hard.

But I’ve done more difficult stuff in the last week. I’ve gone out of my comfort zone at least twice and both times were very rewarding. Also, things aren’t as scarce now as they were when I was nine.  So when I post this entry, I will throw away this wadded up page (in the dumpster outside!) and move on with my day.

Friday, I was juried (is that the right word?) in as an artist to the Poudre River Arts Center studios. I know that acceptance by my peers shouldn’t be a requisite, but for me, it helps remind me I am an artist. These artists are following their hearts, making a living at their art or doing art daily and they have STUDIOS in an ART CENTER with a GALLERY and that’s part of the Fort Collins First Friday thing…well, that’s way too cool.

I’ve been doing their website for a few years and now and then made some suggestions which have morphed into a position where I could be compensated for doing something I’m really good at. Long story short, they used to be more of a co-op, but now they have decided to create two positions — a marketing person and an operations person and the compensation would be studio space. I have really wanted to get out of the house more lately, as working at home can be a bit of a drag sometimes. I also want to give my art more serious attention; I thought that being in this type of atmosphere might help.

Friday afternoon I met with the artists, at the encouragement of Kat Peters-Midland, to be “interviewed” so the others could decide if I fit in with the existing studio artists. They were all really nice and seemed to like my work, although I felt very amateur and silly in their presence. (I’ll get over that, really.) An hour later, there was an email from Kat saying I’m in.

I’m very excited to have a studio, away from home, to work in. I think I’ll be more focused, as I won’t see my laptop across the room and worry about work that needs to be done, or laundry that needs to go into the dryer, etc. I’m super excited about finding a spot large enough to teach classes, as I’ve been wanting to do that for a while now and have a few workshop ideas bubbling up in the back of my head.

This coming week, i’ll go over to look at the spaces again and select mine, as well as to sign the contract. I think I move in July 1, but I’m hoping it will be a little sooner so I can participate in First Friday that month. I have so many ideas!

In the way of actual art-making, I have a few projects in progress, which I’ll write about soon. I completed a 9-month art therapy group yesterday, which also deserves a nice, thoughtful writeup. The photos in this post are from a swap I just did with Kelly and Venita. These two ladies make my heart sing. clicking on the photos will take you to larger versions, along with short explanations.

I’m playing around with a free slideshow that grabs stuff from flickr. It’s called pictobrowser. It may load a little slowly, but feel free to play with it and see what you think. Here are a bunch of photos in my Flickr that are tagged with “journaling”. enjoy!