sunshine factory – artwork by tracey kazimir-cree

Im not sure this will work.

"Eva" Acrylic, collage, beeswax on wood panel

The past week has been riddled with extreme lows and some pretty good highs. I’ll leave out the lows, as they were intense on both a personal and professional level and I’m still sorting them out in my head.

But here are the HIGHS! These little boosts of confidence are the things that are going to help get me through those lows and encourage me to keep making stuff:

the area outside my studio on First Friday

The fabulous and lovely Bernadette was very excited about my handpainted serendipity ornaments when I brought them to PRAC last week. She selected 6 to purchase! Not only that, she encouraged me to price them better than I originally intended.

Mary Ann, one of the newest artists at PRAC, who is an amazing oil painter, loved my painting, “Eva”. As if that weren’t enough praise, she said it reminded her of Toulouse-Lautrec and Modigliani. Well, can you imagine a better compliment?

And if those two compliments weren’t enough, a CSU student emailed me today, saying, I am writing a paper for an art class about a piece of artwork done by a local artist. I was recently at the Poudre River Arts Center and really enjoyed your piece entitled “Eva”. She wanted some more information about the painting so she could write about it. This is blowing me away. Fran just said to me “I told you you’re talented. Maybe you’ll start to believe it one day!” (She is so good to me.)

our "garden" gate

Did you hear that sound? It’s the sound of snow falling…which it’s been doing since late last night. Tim works at Colorado State University and was home by 1:30 because they closed early. It’s so pretty, even though it’s the thick, wet icky snow like I used to enjoy in NJ, not the light powdery fun stuff we usually get. Either way, it’s hard to be a sole proprietor with an office in the basement on a snow day like this. Which leads me to procrastination.

Despite my very long task list, including stuff for eeep! productions and my clients, for PRAC, for my studio and Sunshine Factory, for Fort Collins Gallery Walk, for my art and for my little family, I still find time to procrastinate. And this leads me to get stressed.

When I get really stressed, I procrastinate (see the vicious circle?) by playing games on Facebook, taking a nap, watching tv or reorganizing something. It’s that old frozen fear we all get when we’re unsure the task at hand will be done correctly, will turn out as we planned, or will even get finished. It’s exhausting. Not to mention unproductive.

So I took a quick break and opened the new issue of Somerset Studio. I read Quinn McDonald’s Business of Art column — is it serendipity that her topic this issue is STRESS? Quinn reminded me that all of those things I do to relieve the stress or to deal with it are only making it worse. It was quite the wakeup call, so I decided to start writing for my blog. Look at me — productive, not stressed and doing something I actually enjoy. Which (finally!) brings me to the point of this entry:

Today I was setting up a class schedule for my recycled envelope books class and for the composition book journaling workshop that I’ve mentioned to a number of you. I intend to publish that schedule this weekend, after many weeks (ok, months) of fear-based procrastination. While I was working on this, I realized that I had no holiday-related classes to offer!

Christmas Tree Screen Ornament -- oh, so pretty!

Now that’s it’s snowing, I am SO in the Christmas spirit. And with the economy being the way it is, I know most of my gifts this year will be homemade. What better way to show someone you love him or her than by making a wee, lovely giftie?

Enter the Christmas Tree Screen Ornament! To the right is a sample of the ornament. Yours will look different, of course, but the base will be a small framed screen (3×3 or 4×4) and we’ll paint the frame and attach any number of cool doodads and/or images to the screen itself.

Class details:

• The class will be 3 hours
• Cost will be $60 and will include all supplies (you bring your basic tool kit, of course!)
• You will leave with at least 1 finished ornament and the screen and doodads to make one more (additional kits will be available for purchase seperately)

Now, what I need to know from you is if this class sounds appealing and if so, what day works best for you. There’s a poll over on the right for you to respond to. This class is only open to local folks right now. Take the poll or email me or comment here and let me know your interest level by the end of the week, so I can be sure to order enough supplies and schedule the class according to YOUR needs.

For the past week, all I’ve been dying to do is put some gesso on something and make some layers. Have I done it? No. With my new responsibilities at the Poudre River Arts Center, I seem to be forgetting the main reason I got involved in the first place: To take care of ME! I am heading over there shortly and intend to do at least 30 minutes of something creative.

Last night, I unwrapped a Moleskine watercolor book I bought a year ago. I struggled with the Importance of a Moleskine and what on earth would I draw that would be worthy of those luscious pages? It took a while, but I just did it. Not gorgeous, and clearly, I need practice, but here are the first two experiments. I used my neocolor IIs and my Stampin’ Up watercolor crayon palette, as well as a Sharpie Pen and a water soluble black pencil.

This is going to take some time.

The Littlest Rose 5 3/4 x 7 1/2 on watercolor paper.	Bird Lady Acrylic, collage, wax on wood board.
Another Dream in Which I Am Flying Acrylic on canvas board.	Quilted Laptop Bag

I’ve finally had a few minutes to upload some of my artwork from Art Unraveled. It’s always so fun to take a breath and a step back and then look at the work with new eyes. I could tell you everything I hate about these pieces, but I won’t. I will tell you how they came about and what I do like about them, though! Some of them are finished, some may get a little more work — some detailing, or will become part of another piece of artwork. (Yes, that means I may tear things up. It’s ok, I’m brave!) Some of it is here, and the rest is on my Flickr site. You can click on these to go there and see them larger, with descriptions.

Art Unraveled was great. I had missed it last year, so I tried to make sure I really enjoyed it this year. It was so wonderful to

• see my friends
• take a vacation (mostly — I did do some web work while I was there)
• make art and relax.
• I made new friends, too, which was extra cool.

I didn’t really stretch myself in terms of the classes I took, but it was nice to have the extra time to try new things and keep working on the skills I’m trying to improve.

I stayed at the hotel with Leighanna, with the intention to move to Fran’s house on Sunday. That was thwarted when Fran’s husband got sick with a stomach thing and when my doctor called to inform me that my ankle was fractured (something I wish that she told me before I left for AZ!). So, the trip was a little more expensive than I would have liked, but I really do love staying at hotels. I love the soft sheets, especially. And this hotel has the most comfortable pillow top mattresses and soft pillows, I have never been so happy and willing to go to sleep at night! I also love the happy hour and the little kitchen area in the room, where we had a little version of Trader Joe’s to munch on for lunches and snacks.

Katie Kendrick taught us how to look at other artwork and use it as inspiration. Since I don’t do a lot of faces and people, I was extremely frustrated with my first attempt, The Blessed Mother is Laughing at Me! I ended up doing some intuitive painting and the other two I did in this class were a little more satisfying.

From Alex Shur, I learned how to use tube watercolors and assorted non-traditional techniques I can use with them. This appealed to me greatly, because I don’t ever intend to follow many rules in my art. I’ve used pan watercolors since college, so stepping up to tube colors was really cool. I painted a lot in this class and have a lot of works in progress as well as pieces to use in other work.

From Traci Bautista, I learned her method for developing project ideas. This was extremely reassuring, because I already do a lot of what she showed us. Neat!

Judy Wise’s class was GREAT — the Bird Lady (above) is from that class. Judy is a very good teacher and she showed us her techniques for using collage, paint and wax to create depth and really interesting compositions. At the last minute, I decided to add one more class, since I didn’t feel stretched.

Monday night, I took a Crafty Chica (Kathy Cano Murillo) class. I had seen my friend Joanne’s bag, which she made after taking a similar class with CC. I sew a little, but still have some fear of sewing through my finger. It’s great to learn from Kathy because she just eyeballs it and doesn’t use a pattern and “figures things out.” I admire her so much!

OH! I got to meet Joanne, who is just wonderful and was so much fun to hang out with. She makes me LAUGH! I’m so happy about how much time she and Fran and I got to spend together.

And on Saturday night, we watched the 1000 Journals movie, and had a Q&A session with Someguy, the dude who got that whole thing in motion. The movie was a little long, but was really interesting. Then we had a chance to put our own marks in a few of the journals he brought with him. I decided it was a good opportunity to connect my Wreck This Journal experience with AU and 1000 Journals and I brought a page from Wreck This Journal, did some stuff to it and pasted it in. If you ever get 1000 Journals book #742, I’m in there.

Unfortunately, my Palm Centro camera isn’t that great and we can’t read this now. But it was stamped in each of the books and shows the journal number	Cover of the book I worked in.	My page that I glued into the book and doodled on.

This week and last week, I have been extremely creative with my time, with making meals for Tim and myself, with pretty much everything that’s important to me. I have tucked journaling time into the evenings while we watch tv. I carry around Wreck This Journal constantly, on the off chance that I will have a moment to destroy something. I print PDFs and carry them around with me in case I have a moment to read them. And today is the day before I leave on a trip, which means I have left a thousand details until the last minute, whether on purpose or accidentally, and I am a crazy woman. I know there are things that will go unfinished. And I know there are work things that I’ll just have to bring with me and do in the evenings. But I don’t care! You know why? Because…

Tomorrow I leave for a week in Phoenix for Art Unraveled!!

I am very excited for a week of creativity and friendship. I’ll try to check in here when I can. In the meantime I want to leave you with this utterly creative video that will make you smile. Have a great week!

I just got caught up with Jamie’s videos and I am woefully behind on seeing what everybody else is doing. I apologize to all of you who have been so kind & supportive by visiting my blog and commenting. I fully intend to do the same every week and then life got in the way. Big time.

I have a good excuse, though!

The last two weeks I have spent getting ready for opening my very own art studio. I am working with this cool group called Poudre Studio Artists here in Fort Collins. We “live” in the Poudre River Arts Center, just north of downtown. I’ve also taken on the role of marketing manager for the center as well, so you can imagine how hilariously crazy things have been here.

So, I don’t know what week it is, really. I don’t remember what I did when, but I need to realize that’s not important anymore (which is REALLY hard for me, because I love tracking and archiving things). I did make a week list of the stuff I’ve done since the last time I posted:

• poked holes
• drew thin and fat lines
• scratched with a sharp object
• tore strips
• starting adding office supplies
• drew a nonstop line
• wrote four-letter words
• listed more ways to wreck

ALSO, I put the book out during my first First Friday, marked at the page that says “hang the journal in a public place and invite people to draw here.” Not many people wanted to do that, despite my big basket of crayons. I was surprised, actually! My MIL drew a horse though. My SIL drew a penguin and a blackeyed susan (that’s the “logo” my husband and I have – long story for another day). My husband drew a tiny alien and his space ship. That’s good enough for me!

I was carrying it around a lot and then that sort of dropped off, but I intend to pick back up again. It’s comforting to me.

Things I am learning from this process and how it’s spilling over into real life:

• I am following the rules less and less. I used to be the “good girl” — who has to please everybody and do the right thing. I’m NOT that girl anymore.
• I didn’t clean my house before my in-laws came over. Twice.
• I am playing more. Today I was in the studio and I was prepping some pages for a journal and all of a sudden decided to do my process in reverse order, just to see what would happen.

So that’s it for now. If anyone reading this doesn’t have a “give away your favorite page” partner, please consider swapping with me. Leave a note in the comments.

And here are some photos of what I’ve done recently. enjoy!

Friday, I was juried (is that the right word?) in as an artist to the Poudre River Arts Center studios. I know that acceptance by my peers shouldn’t be a requisite, but for me, it helps remind me I am an artist. These artists are following their hearts, making a living at their art or doing art daily and they have STUDIOS in an ART CENTER with a GALLERY and that’s part of the Fort Collins First Friday thing…well, that’s way too cool.

I’ve been doing their website for a few years and now and then made some suggestions which have morphed into a position where I could be compensated for doing something I’m really good at. Long story short, they used to be more of a co-op, but now they have decided to create two positions — a marketing person and an operations person and the compensation would be studio space. I have really wanted to get out of the house more lately, as working at home can be a bit of a drag sometimes. I also want to give my art more serious attention; I thought that being in this type of atmosphere might help.

Friday afternoon I met with the artists, at the encouragement of Kat Peters-Midland, to be “interviewed” so the others could decide if I fit in with the existing studio artists. They were all really nice and seemed to like my work, although I felt very amateur and silly in their presence. (I’ll get over that, really.) An hour later, there was an email from Kat saying I’m in.

I’m very excited to have a studio, away from home, to work in. I think I’ll be more focused, as I won’t see my laptop across the room and worry about work that needs to be done, or laundry that needs to go into the dryer, etc. I’m super excited about finding a spot large enough to teach classes, as I’ve been wanting to do that for a while now and have a few workshop ideas bubbling up in the back of my head.

This coming week, i’ll go over to look at the spaces again and select mine, as well as to sign the contract. I think I move in July 1, but I’m hoping it will be a little sooner so I can participate in First Friday that month. I have so many ideas!

In the way of actual art-making, I have a few projects in progress, which I’ll write about soon. I completed a 9-month art therapy group yesterday, which also deserves a nice, thoughtful writeup. The photos in this post are from a swap I just did with Kelly and Venita. These two ladies make my heart sing. clicking on the photos will take you to larger versions, along with short explanations.

Today my mother called me when I was slammed with work. She does that a lot. It’s ok, because she’s mom and I love her. Usually I rush her off the phone with a promise to call later (which I always do), but today I listened. She was excitedly talking about Harlan Ellison and some interview she saw on The Sundance Channel. She was really excited about it, which surprised me because mom doesn’t go in for foul or crude language or free-spirited thinkers (unless they are saints). Mom, I know you know I’m teasing you, but this is true – admit it!!

In the interview, Ellison discusses this phenomenon where writers are asked to write for free. He is appalled by this practice; insulted, even. And he’s right. Creativity is work, just like doing dishes, paving roads or being the governor. And when you work at something, it’s only right you get paid for it. (I’m still working on a solution for the stay-at-hom moms out there, but I’m puzzled on how to approach that one.)

I build websites and consult on internet stuff for a living. I can’t even count how many people have asked me to do it for less money or for free. In the beginning of my business, I did it a lot. I am not doing it any more. It’s hard, because you want that business, but by doing things for cheap or for free, you are cheapening your work and the work of your contemporaries. This is the same for all of you artists who are patiently and quietly working on softies or paintings or collages or altered art and so on. Your inspiration is of great value to the world. Think about it.

And for those who are wondering, the smudge of lime green pastel is still on the sleeve of my hoodie. Which is good, because it helps me still believe I’m an artist, because there hasn’t been much proof of that lately. Also, I can’t find my camera.

A few weeks ago, in my art therapy group (Creating Your Heart’s Desire), we did intuitive drawings on large sheets of paper hung on the wall. We used pastels, which I rarely use in my regular art. I noticed the next day that there was a smudge of lime green pastel on the sleeve of my hoodie. I was so excited and wore that smudge all day like a quiet little personal badge of honor. Unfortunately, I eventually washed the hoodie and the smudge is gone now. But today I’m wearing that hoodie again and I remember the smudge and I’m reminded: Yes, I am an artist. What a happy, freeing thought that is for me.