in which I ruminate upon giving something scary a shot

First of all, no, I have no idea why I was up at 2 am writing this post. I thought I might get more work done while everybody is asleep and that I might sleep while everybody is awake tomorrow. I don’t know if any of this is wise, but Tim was ok with the burden it would place on him in yhe morning, so why not give it a try.

And that’s one of the things this post is about. Trying something even when you’re not sure it’s going to work out.

Now I want to share the two scary and creative things I’ve done in the past few months.

1. Became a foster mom.

I haven’t mentioned this topic here, because it’s my art blog, but it’s relevant to this post. Last year Tim and I ¬†were certified by our county as foster parents. Never having been a parent before at all, this was a huge and scary step for me. (Not for Tim. He was good with it from the word go.) I have learned in the past two months, however, that motherhood requires large quantities of creativity. HUGE quantities.

I had no idea.

Can I shower, have breakfast and answer all of my client email before the baby wakes up? How do I take a sleeping baby in the car to pick up the 11-year-old at school and get home before the baby has a poop explosion or needs a bottle? How long can I listen to the boy yammer on about his plans for a birthday party we’re apparently throwing him this summer? How many times can I take him to McDonald’s for an after-school snack before I feel like an awful guardian? (The answers are: no, carefully and quickly, as long as I have to, and two.)

And so on.

But you know what I learned this week? I can do it. I AM doing it. And I am doing it pretty well, if I do say so myself. There may have been a couple of times I wanted to cry or give up, but in general, I think I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in my life. And even though I haven’t made one bit of art in the past 3 weeks, I look forward to the challenges these kids bring into our lives.

I took the chance. I made the leap. I let these kids into my life. And it’s good.

And the other thing:

2. Participating in an art community tradition in my city.

A Safe Space to Land
Statement: Lately Tracey Kazimir-Cree has been experimenting more with color and texture and found objects, so she has been keeping her imagery simple — flowers, hearts, houses. The idea of home has become increasingly important as she and her husband became foster parents this year. Tracey states, “All of us, especially children, deserve A Safe Space to Land and a chance to be truly happy and loved.”
(Photo by Christina Gressianu. http://www.photocg.co/)

I’ve heard of the Masks at MOA for years and either was afraid, or kept missing the deadline, but this year, I finally got to participate. Basically, it’s a fundraiser for the art museum in which artists create masterpieces out of ceramic masks. The masks are then displayed in the museum for a month and the public bids on them throughout the exhibit. Some of the masks also sold during a Gala dinner, as well. All of the proceeds to towards the museum.

On First Friday last month, the museum was packed. I was so nervous…I enjoyed looking at all of the masks, but was so anxious to see my own piece displayed in a museum. I’d been in a gallery before, but a museum! That’s huge!

When we found mine, we saw that someone had bid on it. Not only that, but two someones had bid on it.

It was thrilling.

The exhibit is closing this week, so I went over there today to check on my mask one more time. More people had bid and the price was up to $95. I don’t know that I ever expected that!

I took a chance, made the leap, arted up the mask and put my work out there. And it turns out, I’m not the only one who loved my piece.

I can do anything, if I want it badly enough, but the point is in the trying. Even if it’s scary. The point is in pushing myself to see just what I’m capable of. You can do that too. Even if you’re scared.

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